ugghhh. i feel like shit!
i did so good today until dinner. i ate a salad, and half a sandwich.
like that wasnt fatty enough, i then went and got frozen yogurt.
then ate two boxes (100 cal each) of raisins..
and a WHOLE box of raisin bran!
i want to kill myself right now.
i tried to throw it all up but nothing was coming up.
what the heck?!?!?!
i dont understand.

my stomach is FULL right now. i feel it.
i see it.
i dont understand my body.
i is used to holding food in my stomach. i can usually throw up up to like 4 hours later and still have everything come up easy.
and now, its not even coming up at all.

i am tired of being fat and ugly.
i am so ugly.
my double chin is back.
my arms look like a fat baby's arms when they are round and have lines where the hands are.
my legs are cottage cheese thigh, and are huge. i can never where shorts, they rub together and are HUGE.
but my legs are still small compared to my ENORMOUS stomach and waste.
my stomach is so wide from the side and front.
i hate my stomach. i am so fat.
i have the biggest love handles.
even my back is fat.

i cant wait for the day that there is not fat to grab.
that i am so thin, i am just a skeleton.
i want people who dont even know me to look at me and wonder if i ever eat.
that is where i want to be.